My experience on September 11 has been well documented in the media, whether in an interview that took place later that morning in which the reporter’s characterization of me went something like: “said Abby Spilka, in a highly emotional state one hour after the attacks” to the time I was interviewed by Channel 9 News with the screen identification “Eyewitness to Terror.” I have given testimony to the Columbia University 9/11 Narrative and Memory Project and written about it for Museum News. I have blogged about it for the Museum…

I was a young woman and a relatively new nurse when I began working for VNSNY in 1998. My days and years past are filled with precious memories and experiences as an employee of the Visiting Nurse Service of New York. All of those professional experiences transcend to my heart and spirit to become an integral part of the person, woman, mother, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, and nurse I have become. But THE day that stands out for me the most is a day that is full of sorrow…

I have been a bit neglectful of my blogging responsibilities of late, something I don’t need to remind my VNSNY colleagues. July has been a month of transitions for me. I have a new role at work, which is both exciting and daunting. And while I am still learning to balance official responsibilities with unofficial responsibilities, and taking on new tasks while maintaining all of the old ones would seem to be what is proving to be most difficult, it is not. And this brings me to the other transition…

“Palliative care (from Latin palliare, to cloak) is a specialized area of healthcare that focuses on relieving and preventing the suffering of patients. Unlike hospice care, palliative medicine is appropriate for patients in all disease stages, including those undergoing treatment for curable illnesses and those living with chronic diseases, as well as patients who are nearing the end of life. Palliative medicine utilizes a multidisciplinary approach to patient care, relying on input from physicians, pharmacists, nurses, chaplains, social workers, psychologists, and other allied health professionals in formulating a plan of care to relieve suffering…

Life is unpredictable and you never really know which way it will take you. As health professionals, we go in with the expectation (and hope) that we will impart some wisdom, say the right words or perhaps do something that makes “everything all right” for our patients when they encounter experiences they had not anticipated. We have stories to share and we hope it can help others make sense of the chaos life can be.

However at times the tables are turned and it’s the patient who ends up helping us.…

In the case of Prince William, when every person on the planet feels a connection to your mother, how do you do remember her at your wedding with honor, respect, and most importantly, in a way that has meaning for you?

Almost ten years ago, my wife’s grandmother died. At the time, we gathered as a family to be of support and comfort to one another, telling stories and sharing the legacy of this wonderful woman who lived well into her 90’s. Our daughter, who was three at the time, saw the family dynamics — crying, laughing, sharing stories — but due to her age, she wasn’t much of a verbal participant in the mourning period.

Fast-forward three years. Our family was sharing a moment at our dining table one evening, our daughter is now…

Some years ago, through the public relations conduits of VNSNY, I was a guest consultant on MSNBC. The topic was the worldwide reaction to the death of Pope John Paul II. As a bereavement professional and member of the clergy, I was asked why there was such a strong public outpouring of grief over the death of one man. While I don’t recall my exact comments from that day, I’m sure my response focused on both his larger-than-life persona as a Pope, as well as the person himself. He had struggled…

Recently, I read a story written by a nurse. It was about a patient who did not design a Living Will that accurately recorded her end-of-life wishes so that her family members could refer to it. The story recounted in vivid detail what the patient had wanted for the end of her life, and what was done instead. As a nurse who has worked at hospital bedsides for many years, I too have witnessed similar scenarios play out. In essence, such a story should remind us of how important it is to have…

Repeat after me:

“Grieving is hard work. That’s what the books say. That’s what grieving people say. That’s what I say. Grieving is hard work. ” Repeat.

The intensity of grief can be so overpowering at times that the griever can’t tell one day from the next, the present moment from the one before. It can be terrifying and exhausting. How does the griever ‘mark time?’

First, what do we know about grief? Well, it’s unique to each individual experiencing it and it never progresses in a straight line.  There are no linear stages except in…